Building a Better Relationship #2

CGM 06/03/09

1 Cor 13: 4
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.

This verse shows love in action where love looks for a way to be constructive, i.e. to build somebody else's life.

How to be a people-builder, then?

Romans 15: 2
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification.

Here, the verse says that we are to edify our neighbor, i.e. to build them up.

1. We can build a person by giving him/ her a personal challenge
Eph 4: 1
I. therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.
We want others to have a purpose in their lives, a vision.
How do we know what God wants us to do?
It is by looking at our abilities/ strengths!

2. We can build a person by giving him/ her a complete confidence
It can be done by showering them with genuine compliments and words of affirmation.
Don't tell them what they are but what they could be!
2 Thes 5: 11
Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
Remember: a. We need to be real
b. We need to do it regularly
c. It needs to be recognizable (be specific!)

3. We can build a person by giving him/ her honest counsel (opinion)
There's no progress without learning, there's no learning without feedback
Prov 27: 17
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
Prov 24: 26
He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.
With truth (correction), we can build a better friendship. However, our attitude in correcting him/ her is very important! Are we condemning or correcting them?
Eph 4: 15
but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head - Christ -

4. We can build a person by giving him/ her a full credit
Praise somebody when it is due!
Accepting the blame, sharing the credits need unselfishness of ourselves.

Now, how do you rate yourself? Are you yet to be a people-builder or a people-destroyer?

What Does Love Mean?

A group of professional people posted this question to a group of 4 to 8 year old:

“What does love mean?”

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

1. When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.
Rebecca - age 8

2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths.
Billy - age 4

3. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving Cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Kari - age 5

4. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries and feel happy they are eating it.
Chrissy - age 6

5. Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.
Terri - age 4

6. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.
Danny - age 7

7. Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Emily - age 8

8. Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
Bobby - age 7

9. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.
Nikka - age 6

10. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.
Noelle - age 7

11. Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends, even after they know each other so well.
Tommy - age 6

12. My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
Clare - age 6

13. Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Chris - age 7

14. Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
Mary Ann - age 4

15. When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Karen - age 7

16. Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and doesn’t think it’s gross.
Mark - age 6

17. You really shouldn't say “I LOVE YOU” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
Jessica - age 8

And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man’s yard and climbed on top of the man’s lap and just sat there.
When the boy’s mother asked him what he’d said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

Relationship in Marriage

Saturday Service Sermon (07/02/09 - 28/02/09)

Every relationship has a love bank. Be it deposit, which is when the relationship is good, or withdrawal when the relationship worsens. In order to maintain love in marriage, every husband and wife must be able to meet each other's needs. Therefore, here are the top 5 woman's and man's needs according to research:

TOP 5 WOMAN'S NEEDS:

1. Affection
1 Cor 7: 3
It symbolizes security/ protection/ comfort/ support for the woman.
Song of Solomon 4: 1-9

2. Conversation
When there's no conversation, there's no relationship.
At least 15 hours per week are spent to converse with each other.
Phil 2: 4, Col 4: 6

3. Honesty and Openness

4. Financial Support
1 Tim 5: 8, Prov 12: 9
A husband and his wife must set a budget for the household:
a. What they need
b. What they want
c. What they can afford

5. Family Commitment
A husband must learn how to be a good father, a role model for the children. This can be done by:
a. Spending lots of time with the children (15 hours per week)
b. Having proper parenting skills
c. Having wise discipline
Eph 6: 4
Do not exasperate the children. Discipline is not the same as punishment.
d. Explaining the rules
e. Learning how to handle anger



TOP 5 MAN'S NEEDS:

1. Sexual Fulfillment
1 Cor 7: 4-5

2. Recreational Companionship
Col 3: 15
The couple that plays together stays together.

3. Attractive Spouse
1 Sam 16: 7
If possible, a wife must make some changes in these areas:
a. Weight control
b. Makeup
c. Hairstyle
d. Clothes
e. Cosmetic surgery

4. Domestic Support
A wife must be able to create peace and quietness in the family.
Prov 17: 1, Titus 2: 4-5
This can be done by:
a. Forming a list of weekly chores
b. Having a fair division of labor
c. Depositing love units in whatever possible circumstances

5. Admiration
Eph 5: 33

By knowing each husband's and wife's needs and working hard to fulfill them, marriage breakdown can be avoided.

God bless ! :D

Building a Better Relationship

CGM (March 27, 2009)

To build a better relationship, we need wisdom. Here are the wisdom checklists for you to correct yourself:

James 3: 13- 18

1. If I am wise, I will not take advantage of you
Sometimes we get used to ask a friend for help and we don't realize that we actually take advantage of that person and take him/ her for granted. So, be wise and appreciate him/ her! :)

2. If I am wise, I will not provoke you to anger
We have to work to maintain harmony in our relationship. For it to last, we must not:
a. compare,
b. condemn,
c. contradict.

Proverbs 14: 29, 20: 3

3. If I am wise, I will be teachable/ submissive/ open to discussion
We must be able to learn from anybody, be the person a boy, a girl, a man, a woman or an elderly. Only then we can be built by them, by their criticism.

Proverbs 12: 15

4. If I am wise, I will not emphasize your mistake
Be forgiving and full of mercy like Jesus. He sacrificed His life for us for He is merciful, because we need it, not because we deserve it.

How then can we have the wisdom?

James 1: 5

Ask God for it in your prayer everyday and see Him work miracles in your relationship!

1st CG Outing in 2009!

Guys, we had a great outing in St. John island yesterday, didn't we? Despite the rain, lightning, thirst, hunger and exhaustion, we enjoyed ourselves. Let's thank God for His protection and grace that we could arrive back in Singapore safely. Any sharing from you will be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)

First Group Photo in 2009