Building a Better Relationship #2

CGM 06/03/09

1 Cor 13: 4
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.

This verse shows love in action where love looks for a way to be constructive, i.e. to build somebody else's life.

How to be a people-builder, then?

Romans 15: 2
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification.

Here, the verse says that we are to edify our neighbor, i.e. to build them up.

1. We can build a person by giving him/ her a personal challenge
Eph 4: 1
I. therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called.
We want others to have a purpose in their lives, a vision.
How do we know what God wants us to do?
It is by looking at our abilities/ strengths!

2. We can build a person by giving him/ her a complete confidence
It can be done by showering them with genuine compliments and words of affirmation.
Don't tell them what they are but what they could be!
2 Thes 5: 11
Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.
Remember: a. We need to be real
b. We need to do it regularly
c. It needs to be recognizable (be specific!)

3. We can build a person by giving him/ her honest counsel (opinion)
There's no progress without learning, there's no learning without feedback
Prov 27: 17
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
Prov 24: 26
He who gives a right answer kisses the lips.
With truth (correction), we can build a better friendship. However, our attitude in correcting him/ her is very important! Are we condemning or correcting them?
Eph 4: 15
but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head - Christ -

4. We can build a person by giving him/ her a full credit
Praise somebody when it is due!
Accepting the blame, sharing the credits need unselfishness of ourselves.

Now, how do you rate yourself? Are you yet to be a people-builder or a people-destroyer?

What Does Love Mean?

A group of professional people posted this question to a group of 4 to 8 year old:

“What does love mean?”

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

1. When my grandma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandpa does it for her now all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.
Rebecca - age 8

2. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouths.
Billy - age 4

3. Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving Cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Kari - age 5

4. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries and feel happy they are eating it.
Chrissy - age 6

5. Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.
Terri - age 4

6. Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.
Danny - age 7

7. Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.
Emily - age 8

8. Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.
Bobby - age 7

9. If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.
Nikka - age 6

10. Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.
Noelle - age 7

11. Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends, even after they know each other so well.
Tommy - age 6

12. My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.
Clare - age 6

13. Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Chris - age 7

14. Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
Mary Ann - age 4

15. When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
Karen - age 7

16. Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and doesn’t think it’s gross.
Mark - age 6

17. You really shouldn't say “I LOVE YOU” unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.
Jessica - age 8

And the winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man’s yard and climbed on top of the man’s lap and just sat there.
When the boy’s mother asked him what he’d said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

Relationship in Marriage

Saturday Service Sermon (07/02/09 - 28/02/09)

Every relationship has a love bank. Be it deposit, which is when the relationship is good, or withdrawal when the relationship worsens. In order to maintain love in marriage, every husband and wife must be able to meet each other's needs. Therefore, here are the top 5 woman's and man's needs according to research:

TOP 5 WOMAN'S NEEDS:

1. Affection
1 Cor 7: 3
It symbolizes security/ protection/ comfort/ support for the woman.
Song of Solomon 4: 1-9

2. Conversation
When there's no conversation, there's no relationship.
At least 15 hours per week are spent to converse with each other.
Phil 2: 4, Col 4: 6

3. Honesty and Openness

4. Financial Support
1 Tim 5: 8, Prov 12: 9
A husband and his wife must set a budget for the household:
a. What they need
b. What they want
c. What they can afford

5. Family Commitment
A husband must learn how to be a good father, a role model for the children. This can be done by:
a. Spending lots of time with the children (15 hours per week)
b. Having proper parenting skills
c. Having wise discipline
Eph 6: 4
Do not exasperate the children. Discipline is not the same as punishment.
d. Explaining the rules
e. Learning how to handle anger



TOP 5 MAN'S NEEDS:

1. Sexual Fulfillment
1 Cor 7: 4-5

2. Recreational Companionship
Col 3: 15
The couple that plays together stays together.

3. Attractive Spouse
1 Sam 16: 7
If possible, a wife must make some changes in these areas:
a. Weight control
b. Makeup
c. Hairstyle
d. Clothes
e. Cosmetic surgery

4. Domestic Support
A wife must be able to create peace and quietness in the family.
Prov 17: 1, Titus 2: 4-5
This can be done by:
a. Forming a list of weekly chores
b. Having a fair division of labor
c. Depositing love units in whatever possible circumstances

5. Admiration
Eph 5: 33

By knowing each husband's and wife's needs and working hard to fulfill them, marriage breakdown can be avoided.

God bless ! :D

Building a Better Relationship

CGM (March 27, 2009)

To build a better relationship, we need wisdom. Here are the wisdom checklists for you to correct yourself:

James 3: 13- 18

1. If I am wise, I will not take advantage of you
Sometimes we get used to ask a friend for help and we don't realize that we actually take advantage of that person and take him/ her for granted. So, be wise and appreciate him/ her! :)

2. If I am wise, I will not provoke you to anger
We have to work to maintain harmony in our relationship. For it to last, we must not:
a. compare,
b. condemn,
c. contradict.

Proverbs 14: 29, 20: 3

3. If I am wise, I will be teachable/ submissive/ open to discussion
We must be able to learn from anybody, be the person a boy, a girl, a man, a woman or an elderly. Only then we can be built by them, by their criticism.

Proverbs 12: 15

4. If I am wise, I will not emphasize your mistake
Be forgiving and full of mercy like Jesus. He sacrificed His life for us for He is merciful, because we need it, not because we deserve it.

How then can we have the wisdom?

James 1: 5

Ask God for it in your prayer everyday and see Him work miracles in your relationship!

1st CG Outing in 2009!

Guys, we had a great outing in St. John island yesterday, didn't we? Despite the rain, lightning, thirst, hunger and exhaustion, we enjoyed ourselves. Let's thank God for His protection and grace that we could arrive back in Singapore safely. Any sharing from you will be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)

First Group Photo in 2009

Asia Conference 2008

19-23 November 2008

*please post here.thanks*

Weekend Services with Rev. Dr. Ed Silvoso

W327 at JW Church - 19 Oct 2008W327 @ A Shot 2 Fame

Back to Basic

Saturday, 25 October 2008

Here are three foundational pillars City Harvest Church is built upon:

1) Great Commandment ( Matt 22: 36-40)
Loving God wholeheartedly and loving people fervently

2) Great Commission (Matt 28: 18-19)
Preaching the gospel all over the world through missions

3) Cultural Mandate (Matt 5: 13-16)
To be the salt of the Earth and the light of the world
'world' - kosmos means the way the society is being organized

Now, here are seven pillars of society:

1) Family
2) Religion
3) Business
4) Education
5) Government
6) Arts
7) Media

No 3 to 7 are what we call 'marketplace' where we can influence the society

Popular culture is where we can be of impact through our CREATIVITY
Here are the cultures, in order of impact:

1) Advertising
2) Celebrities
3) Music
4) Movies
5) Television
6) Fashion
7) Sports
8) Arts

We are, in fact, creative when we have liberty or freedom, and CREATIVITY REQUIRES RISK-TAKING!

However, being creative means to have knowledge. Therefore, innocence does not equal virtue. Virtue is innocence that is being tested, it is power or maturity, and maturity is the power that we have, to do the right things when faced with an option.

God wants us to be creative, to have freedom.. so, let's be!! =)

Inspirational Story

The Taxi driver

Story

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living.

When I arrived at 2:30 AM, the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away.

But, I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice.

I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suit case. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets and there were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated". "Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice. "

I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that her eyes were glistening ....

"I don't have any family left," she continued.

"The doctor says I don't have very long ..."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.

It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse ...

"... Nothing," I said

"... You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light.

Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.

What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware -- wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Lesson

People may not remember exactly what you did or what you said; but they will always remember how you made them feel.

SONship

summarized and simplified by Rayvin

Psalm 127:1
God wants to build your house, your family, your career.
God builds through people. Church is all about people rather than concrete building.

Psalm 127:3-5
God builds through the son of the house. God is a trans-generation God. God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
God also builds, most importantly, through mature son.
"Children" in Hebrew means Sons, Builder of family name.

Romans 8:14
A part of maturity is being led by the spirit of God.

Heb 3:1-6
Moses was faithful, but God built His church through Jesus.
Because Moses was a servant. Jesus Christ is a son.
God can't build through a faithful servant, but a son.
It's important to be a servant. And God was not taking anything away from Moses.
But you can serve with a mentality as a slave, you can serve in fear, you can serve for selfish reasons.
Or you can serve God with a mentality of loving and confidence son.

How do you know then if someone is a biological child of a parent?
In modern day, we use DNA test, because a son carries the same genetic code DNA of the parents.
It's the same in the house and church, e.g: in CHC, we have our own style, we have our X-factor, the CHC-factor in your soul.
We are not saying that we are better than others. Every person is unique, every person have its own genetic code.
Every church is unique. So we can tell easily tell if someone is from CHC.
Because we have our own way of doing things, for simple things like the way CHC worships, the people's attitude, or even by the tongues.
From the way we honor his parents, our Pastor, our CGL.

Some people think it's a bad thing that a member resembles the pastor in the church as if they are brain-washed.
Like father like son. What is true in the natural is also true in the spiritual.
If you're a son of CHC, then you have to resemble the culture of CHC.
If you're not holding the value that your church holds, you are at best just a visitor/guest.
You can be staying in Singapore for very long but never be a Singaporean.
Singapore Ambassador cannot fight for you if you get into trouble in Singapore.

Phil 2:19-22
Timothy was a son.
Like-minded = same spirit = same style = same attitude = same mindset
It's easy to find a staff/a worker but very hard to groom a son.
A servant needs to be told what to do before he serves. e.g: domestic helper.
But a son does it out of his own willingness and love.


Timothy became a son by choice, by adoption.
Adoption is a two-way street. The parents can adopt a child, but at the same time, the child must also adopt the parents.
Timothy was prepared to do anything to serve the vision of Paul.

Being a son is not just about signing a membership form of a church, being water-baptized in the church.
But having the same genetic code and having the same purpose of the church in your life.

The house of God:
1. Place of Vision and Dream (Gen 12:7-8)
2. The Gate of heaven (Gen 13:1-4)
3. The Altar of God on Earth (Gen 28:10-19)

7 Principles of Parable of Talents

Cell Group sermon
29 August 2008

7 Principles (Matt 25: 14-30):

1. Stewardship (v. 14)

Air stewardess, for example, is to serve the plane passengers on board
The same thing, we are also called to serve, to manage what God has entrusted to us.

2. Distribution (v.15)
Distribution of talents from God is fair.
Everybody gets something but nobody gets everything! It is so that we need one another to complement one another. No selfishness and pride is in us. Therefore, we can honor and show concern to one another.


3. Accountability (v.16-19)
Be responsible of what has been given to us!

4. Fruitfulness (v.26)
It is followed by faithfulness.

5. Faith (v.25)
It is the same as motivation and fear is the hindrance for us to step out in faith. As written in Heb 11:6, do not let fear stop us!



6. Application (v.28)
Use our talents because if we don't use it, we'll lose it!

*7. Rewards (v.23)
- Rewards of affirmation (pat on the back, "well done!")
- Rewards of promotion (greater responsibility is given)
- Rewards of celebration (enjoy the 'fruits')

Use our talents wisely.. then, the rewards will come automatically!

Here is a video of a 6-year-old who has got a talent to sing at a very young age. See, how God distributes talents to everyone and it's been used to bless others.

Great Story

-extracted from Ellinda's e-mail-

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat.



A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'



The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'
What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.


Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness.... In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling...
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

Our Dominion Mandate

OUR DOMINION MANDATE

History of Our Dominion Mandate

Dominion Theology began on the first pages of the Bible
Human beings are created based on the image of God. This enables humans to have personal relationship with God. God created humans as Free Moral Agent (FMA), which enables humans to make their own choice. God also gave Adam the authority over the earth, which leads us to our second point.

The enemy had attacked the dominion mandate since day one
Satan has power, but he doesn’t have the authority since God had given that authority to Adam. Therefore, satan wants to take away that authority over the earth from Adam. Since humans are created as FMA, they have their own choices and Adam made the wrong choice. He gave the authority to satan. Because Adam had given the authority to satan, the rest of his generations have to live under the authority of satan and lost the personal relationship with God. Until one day, Jesus came into the world.

The second Adam reversed history
Jesus Christ came into the world as a human being. He’s the second Adam. When Jesus died on the cross, the history changed. The purpose of Jesus died on the cross is to bring back the Kingdom to us (humans) so that we can reconcile the world back to how it was supposed to be.

Jesus delegating His Kingdom to us
Our roles in this dominion processes are by being Jesus’ witnesses. By doing so, we act and say on behalf of Jesus Himself. We will also spread the good news of the gospel to the world. When Jesus reversed history, He didn’t just regain the authority from satan, but He also created a new Kingdom. In this new Kingdom, we’re not just going to bring back the lost to Jesus, but also have a dominion over the nations.

Verses: 1 John 3:8 Luke 19:10 Colossian 1:19-20 Acts 1:8 Luke 4:18

Lessons of Failure

Regarding the CG sermon last week about attitude, here is POSITIVITY which I find it AMAZING of how you look things from different perspectives =) It turns out really different, it makes you feel better and alive!

P.S. I got this from my school's learning site in the 'inspirational story section'

Failure does not mean I'm a failure;
It does mean I have not yet succeeded.

Failure does not mean I have accomplished nothing;
It does mean I have learned something.

Failure does not mean I have been a fool;
It does mean I had enough faith to experiment.

Failure does not mean I have disgraced;
It does mean I have dared to try.

Failure does not mean I don't have it;
It does mean I have something to do in a different way.

Failure does not mean I am inferior;
It does mean I am not perfect.

Failure does not mean I have wasted my life;
It does mean that I have an excuse to start over.

Failure does not mean that I should give up;
It does mean that I should try harder.

Failure does not mean that I will never make it;
It does mean that I need more practice.

Failure does not mean that you have abandoned yourself;
It does mean that you must have a better idea

I hope it's useful as whenever we fail, we usually tend to give up. See now, we shouldn't! =D

My Attitude Determines My Altitude

CG Sermon, 22 August 2008

WE = vessels of God
Some are used for honor while some for dishonor. Why?

to success : Attitude

It is NOT external, but internal. God knows the 'inward' of our hearts.


WE = our heart + mental + spiritual attitude
No one can rule over our attitude! Our attitude in life determines our altitude in Christ, how far we can grow in God.

Attitude is the real us and the best attitudes are in the 'BEATTITUDES'
They are the 'being-attitudes', NOT the 'doing-attitudes'

As the tree is known by its fruit,
we are known by our attitudes.

In school, we are taught..

not MOTIVATION



not HUMILITY


not GENEROSITY



not SERVICE



not JOY


not CONFIDENCE

And... the greatest attitudes we can have are...
Submission (1Tim 5: 17, Phil 2: 3)
Willingness (Matt 23: 11, Isaiah 1: 19)
Positivity

Lastly, let us work on them deeper! Yeah?

N.B.: Any inquiries regarding the sermon for greater understanding or other purposes could be asked through posting comments (and most probably would be answer by Rayvin =))

7 Qualities of Servanthood in Rebecca's Life

10th of August 2008

1) Servanthood is WILLING (Gen 24: 18-19)
It is a reflection of our heart with no expectation of reward/ blessing. Willingness makes us energetic, enthusiastic.

2) Servanthood EXCELS (Gen 25: 19)
Excellence means done until it is finished well, exceedingly abundantly above what is expected/ imagined.It is the attention given to details that leads to superior performance.

3) Servanthood is SWIFT (Gen 24: 18, 20)
The degree of our servanthood is measured by the speed of our willingness.

4) Servanthood is NEVER CONVENIENT

5) Servanthood is HONORING
It is manifested in our tone, body language. Thus, be a lover of hospitality to show honor to others!

6) Servanthood is WORK
It determines our destiny which later brings prosperity and blessings. This is a way besides sowing and reaping.

7) Servanthood is CARING ABOUT PEOPLE
Strangers we serve might be the messengers of God like Eleazar.

Servanthood's meaning won't be known unless we start serving people! Yay =)

Things Aren't Always as They Seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead, the angels were given a space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied..."Things aren't always what they seem".

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused.

"The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way you think they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later

"He who has faith has... an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well - even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly."

- B.C. Forbes -